


love songs are fleeting

by thetowerssang



Category: Torchwood
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28040763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetowerssang/pseuds/thetowerssang
Summary: in which tosh wakes up in a torchwood mirror universe
Relationships: Gwen Cooper/Toshiko Sato
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. handcuffed to a table

Tosh woke up in a strange bed, head pounding, and smelling a sickly sweet perfume dispersed through the air. She felt a pair of arms wrapped around her waist and suddenly noticed the lack of clothes on her. 

Slipping out of the grasp of the person, Tosh walked over to a pile of clothes on the floor. First, she tried a black button-down before realizing half the buttons were broken off or hanging by a string. The next thing Tosh picked up was a leather jacket suspiciously similar to the one Gwen wore. 

She slowly raised her head to look at the lump laying in her bed, immediately noticing Gwen's hair hanging across her face among the many freckles. Her bangs were sticking up in places, and her red lipstick, which she never usually wore, was smudged in strange ways across her face. 

"Fuck," she whispered under her breath, trying not to wake Gwen up. 

Her head was throbbing, and she decided to borrow the other shirt as well as a pair of black jeans to find some aspirin. She popped a pill in her mouth and downed it with some old coffee she found, ignorant of the figure creeping behind her. 

She felt a couple of strong arms wrap around her waist and a head rested on her shoulder. 

"So you steal my clothes and drink my coffee, what's next because you've already stolen my heart," came a familiar Welsh accent. 

Tosh froze, shock painted on her face. Gwen released one of her arms and lifted the cup in Tosh's hand to her lips, staining the cup with her bright red lipstick. She let Tosh stand there as she went rifling through the cupboards. After putting something in her mouth, she went back and swallowed the rest of the coffee, returning to her original position behind Tosh. 

"Ianto and Jack should be coming back from their trip to Bonaire soon. The Essents have their yearly meeting we have to attend in an hour. They're gonna beg for asylum again. God, I'm so tired of that."

Tosh winced at Gwen's rough demeanor. 

"No weevil sightings?" 

Gwen let go of Tosh's waist and pushed her forward. The mug shattered against the hard floor, and her face smashed against it, leaving cuts and bruises in various places. She felt something in her nose break, and she was about to flip over when she heard a familiar click and a weight slowly rested on her back. A loud alarm signaled the opening of the circular door at the front, and Owen walked in, immediately pulling his gun out and shifting his eyes between both women. 

"Gwen wha-" he began before she cut him off. 

"It's someone else, it's not Tosh."

She could feel blood pooling on the ground and pressing against her skin. Raising her arm to wipe it away only earned more pressure against her back as Gwen's boot dug into her spine. 

"Call Ianto and Jack, tell them to get back here asap," Gwen snapped at Owen in frustration, eyes still fixed on Tosh. 

Her boot slightly softened its grip and she let Tosh stand up, immediately bringing her to Jack's desk and rifling through the drawers. 

"Damnit, Jack must have brought his handcuffs on his trip." She cursed under her breath as she went to look through her desk instead. She pulled out a pair and clicked them onto Tosh's hands tightly, causing her to wince in pain. 

She had been frozen for most of the time from the shock. Her brain needed time to process how she felt about waking up next to Gwen. Her head was still pounding and she felt about to collapse. 

Her hands were suddenly yanked as the currently very pissed Welsh lady pulled her by the handcuffs into the interrogation room. After sitting down, Tosh was handcuffed to the table and Gwen sat across from her. The security camera light blinked, informing Tosh that Owen was watching. The familiar alarm of the front door opened, and Tosh had guessed that Ianto and Jack were back. Her mouth opened in shock when John walked in instead.

"Eye candy." 

Tosh only got more confused as John called her by the name he would normally call Ianto. 

"What did you do to my wife?" Gwen said, her words laced with harshness.

Tosh could even see John wincing out of the corner of her eye as she shrank in fear of the dominant Gwen sitting before her. She had never seen Gwen so protective and immediately knew how much her version of Tosh mattered. 

She was tired of hearing the alarm beep again but heard it one last time as Ianto and Jack arrived at the hub. 

"I don't know," was all that she could muster up, feeling blood slip into her lips and tasting the metallic taste on her tongue. She had no time to say anything else, as Gwen pulled a small pocket knife out of her boot and threw it at the wall, nearly missing Tosh's face and slicing open her ear. 

"Hey! What was that for?" Tosh yelled out as an instinct, partly in fear and partly in annoyance. She was already bleeding enough, she didn't want to patch herself up too much. 

"I need you to know how serious I am about this. She matters to me and I want her back. Now, ill say it one more time, where is my wife?" Gwen stared her down, a passionate fire in her eyes. 

"I don't know. I woke up like this, hungover and confused, and I don't know what is happening either." 

Tosh replied, annoyed that Gwen wasn't believing her. 

Gwen decided to walk off instead, leaving Tosh in an empty room with John standing at the entrance. He walked in carefully and sat in the chair Gwen was previously in. 

"I hope you know that trying to lie to Gwen won't work."

"You really think I'd be lying at a time like this?"


	2. a murder with hyacinths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, im tired and this is probably shitty

Tosh woke up in an empty bed, her head tired but suspiciously clear for how many shots she ended up drinking last night. She hazily remembered the first 3, but everything after that was pretty blank except for some making out with Gwen. 

She looked around the room, sleepily realizing the furniture in weird places. Then she noticed the light. 

It doesn't seem like something to get you paranoid, but a window is open on the side of the room, letting light stream in through the drawn back curtains. A breeze brushes through, and for once, it isn't warm and dusty like when Tosh goes outside in hazmat suits to scavenge things, but fresh and full of life. 

Lifting off the covers, she walked carefully closer and to the wooden windowsill, placing her hands on the clear glass and pushing the window open further. Sticking her head out, she breathed in, smelling the scent of flowers wafting off from below. Excited at the prospect of a flower stand, she got dressed in a black button-down and jeans, completely ignoring the mess of foreign clothes before slipping on a pair of ankle boots and grabbing her glasses from the side table. 

Before she left, she clipped a thigh holster on and slipped in the gun from her bedside table. She never left anywhere without it, and even in this strange world, she wanted to bring it with her. 

She stepped into the living room, twirling around to look out of all the windows before walking out of the front door. She remembered to take the keys hanging up, locking the door behind her.

It was different than she remembered. Of course, she had already realized that something was wrong. In her universe, most of the tallest buildings were burnt to a crisp, leaving only abandoned flats and cafes. Most people had moved underground in fear, leaving the atmosphere to waste away. 

Now, she could breathe in the air and feel the fresh wind blowing through her hair. She stared up at the blue sky, watching the clouds shift around, making the sun filter out in different shades. 

People rustled about, and she marveled at the traffic. She had lived her days in the hub, lit by faint electricity. Now she could see the sun, and even though it hurt her eyes, she spun around, feeling it heat her face and light the buildings around. 

She ran over to the waterside and stared at it, admiring the way the current rolled past. She let it brush against her hand, shivering at the frigid temperature. 

She stood up and looked around again, seeing the skyscrapers pierce through the clouds and the clouds pierce through the sun. For once, she wasn't cooped up between walls, and she loved it. She loved every bit of it.

She walked over to the flower stand, staring at the various hues of roses. 

A hyacinth peeked up at her, and she sniffed it, the intoxicating smell making her smile. After browsing the aisles, she ended up buying a small orange marigold, tucking it in her ear. She suddenly laughed at herself. I mean, here she was in a strange place smelling flowers out of all things. She did feel that she needed a break. Gwen liked working with no mercy. 

Clearing her throat, she told herself this was a serious matter. She walked onto the dock, eventually reaching the tourist office she recognized. Shifting the gun out of its holster discreetly, she stepped in, pressing the button for the secret entrance. 

She got to the large circular door before freezing. It rolled away with her gun pointed forward at Jack, immediately leading him to stop with his hands up. She remembers pointing her gun at him only one other time, the time when she and Gwen had shot him over a power struggle. That's how it worked in Torchwood. If you're at the top, you're either dead in a month or too strong to beat. 

• 

She remembers the excitement over her machine working. 

She was testing out some new technology per the request of her girlfriend, but she wouldn't tell why. She had it set up near the door, powering it up when Jack walked in. 

He was immediately frozen in place, making Tosh squeal, but Gwen remained emotionless. She walked up to Jack, who was staring off into the void with a confused expression on his face. 

"Gwen, should I release him?" Tosh remembers asking, sitting innocently at her desk. 

"Don't. I want you to come here, Tosh." 

She stood up before stopping at Gwen's added comment. 

"And bring your gun." 

Slowly, she took it off her desk and came to stand next to her, staring into Jack's eyes. 

"Jack, I've been waiting for this moment since I joined this wretched team," Tosh shuddered as Gwen began to speak a monologue.  
"Imagine what we could be with a better leader. Do that for me, will you? Dream about how things could be with Tosh and I leading this shithole. We could bring it to glory! We could ward away the alien threats easily. You've gone soft and brought Torchwood along with it."

Tosh remembered still being confused, remembering that she read something about murdering your superiors, before Gwen grabbed her hand, the one with the gun in it, and pointed it at Jack's chest. A bullet fired in that position would kill him, and she guessed that was Gwen's plan. 

Loading the gun and cocking it, Gwen tapped Tosh on the shoulder, a signal to shoot. 

Her hands were shaking, and she felt terrible to put Jack in this position, helpless and exposed. No matter how hard she tried, her fingers would not pull the trigger. Tears of frustration began to stream down her face as Gwen crept up behind her. 

They held the gun together, not unlike Jack's gun lesson with Gwen a long, long time ago. Tosh closed her eyes as Gwen pressed her finger against the trigger, firing a bullet into him and leaving Tosh's face splattered with blood. 

Her hand opened in shock, and she dropped the weapon to the floor, covering her face and refusing to open her eyes. She remembered sobbing for hours that day. 

Jack didn't die, of course, but that marked the end of his reign on torchwood 3. Gwen and Tosh were the new queens, and they were going to rule with fear.


	3. when life flashes right before your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to split this chapter in 2 because it was getting a lot longer than my others (fuck chapter consistency but also chapter consistency is gorgeous) 
> 
> so yea, enjoy, and the next chapter will probably be out sooner
> 
> (full disclaimer i don't think i proofread this at all, so feel free to point out any mistakes)   
> (also this is technically supposed to be canon-compliant but also i couldn't resist and changed it just a bit? sorry not sorry)

Tosh woke up in a dark, empty room. Looking around, she could only see black. It was as if the whole room went on infinitely. Her hands searched for a wall as she turned around and around, with no sense of direction. As she wandered around the infinite room, her feet began to wear out, and eventually, she sat down, admitting her defeat. 

Her eyelids began to droop and she laid herself sprawled across the floor, staring up at the deep black sky (if there was one even there.) As she stared, dots began to form. Stars swirled around, settling into constellations she recognized. There was Ursa Major and Minor, Canis Major, and Orion, and she looked on in awe. They sparkled, lighting up her eyes and leaving her speechless. 

She felt something growing out from the ground under her arms, poking at her back. Her fingers closed as she grasped at it, feeling grass and dirt sticking under her fingernails. Other stars stirred faster, and they all finally merged, making a full night sky. 

She sat up and frantically looked around, the scene a lot different than the emptiness. It was a field that she recognized, a picnic blanket laid out across the grass. various desserts were on the blanket as well as some wine. She walked over to the telescope about 6 feet away, looking into it and seeing the moon, half full and still very bright. Turning around at the whispering voices behind her, Jack was laying on the blanket, a cupcake in his mouth and frosting smeared on his lips. She was also somehow there, sitting crosslegged and passing off a napkin to him. Faint figures trekked up the hill, and she recognized them as Owen, Gwen, and Ianto. 

She remembered this night. She remembered that Jack ended up eating a whole cake to himself. She remembered laying down next to Gwen and pointing out stars and constellations to her. She remembered Ianto with his head in Jack's lap, napping quietly under the stars as his lover stroked his hair. She remembered Owen, who was standing so peacefully at the telescope, for once not trying to cause chaos. It was one of her favorite nights, the rare ones where nothing was happening and they could just hang out. She tried to walk up and grab a cupcake, remembering how good Gwen's baking was. Instead, her hand slipped through like a ghost, making it feel oddly tingly. 

"Gwen?" she asked as Gwen sat down next to the now ghostly version of her. They smiled at each other, and Tosh quickly realized this was the Gwen she remembered. The Gwen who had interrogated her was different. She didn't want to admit it, but at that moment she was scared. All she wanted was to have her Gwen back. So, as she called her name out again, tears began streaming down her face. Everything around her began to fade away, and she threw herself at Gwen, wanting to feel her comforting embrace. 

She hit the floor, groaning at the impact of it, which she was sure had broken her nose. Carefully placing her hands under her, she pushed herself up onto her feet, hand swiping under her nose to check for blood. 

"Tosh?" she recognized jack's voice calling her as she walked up from the medical area of the hub. 

"Get everything from the weapons room, fast as you can." 

She nearly tripped on the last step, shrowded in darkness as it was. 

"It's locked down, there's no manual override!" 

Her voice echoed out from near where she remembered her desk was. The hub glowed with a faint and eerie red light, and she could only see a faint outline of the team. 

"Just open the door!" Jack's voice echoed with an urgent tone. 

The pattering of feet came, and as her eyes adjusted to the dim room, she saw Jack pushing Ianto to the floor.

"On your knees. Hands above your head." Ianto did what as he was told, empty anger in his eyes. The ghost Tosh froze behind them, her flashlight trained on the gun Jack held to his head."

"Jack, for god's sake, what are you doing?"

"Tosh! I gave you an order!"

She hesitantly shifted her flashlight towards the door, looking for a way in.

"Gwen, help her." 

They fiddled around a bit, and Gwen looked towards her, worry in her eyes. 

"We're gonna be alright. Jack will save us from whatever this is, I'm sure of it."

Gwen turned away, looking instead at Jack, to make sure he didn't take things too far. Tosh (the real one) wasn't focused, her head pounding, and almost making her topple over. She only heard a snippet of their conversation, and that one word caused her to stop in shock as she realized what was happening.

"You hid a cyberman inside torchwood? and you didn't tell us!?"

They had almost died that day. it was almost as scary as the day they traveled to the Brecon Beacons Her breaths shortened to small gasps as all the memories caught up with her. She vowed never to remember this day, but something was forcing the memories outside of her. As her eyes began to blur, she saw something on the other side of the hub. It was almost like a shadow, standing menacingly with arms crossed. 

The red faded away, slowly, until she opened her eyes again and she was back at her house. Her mind still hazy and confused, she stumbled over to where her bed was, recognizing the familiar crimson sheets. A voice streamed out through one of the doors, and she realized she knew it. 

"You have no ashtrays in your whole house, not one." 

Mary was there, a glass cup in her hand, bringing a cigarette up to her lips. 

"What are you using?"

"I think it's an egg cup," she said, holding up a grapefruit colored piece of plastic shaped to be an octopus. Mary began walking closer to the bed, and Tosh shifted backward, away from the bed, and instead pressed against the wall, her boots squeaking in protest. 

"I see," Tosh said, who was currently staring off into the distance, her crimson sheets pressed as close to her body as she could get them. 

As Mary sat down on the bed, Tosh turned away, her arms shifting and trying to cover her exposed body as well as she could. 

"You okay? Freaking out a little?" 

No response came from Tosh, still clutching her sheets close, fixing her hair out of nervousness. Mary continued anyway. 

"Your birthday's July, right?" She said, picking up the card delicately placed on Tosh's bedside table.

"You're the expert," Tosh shot back.

After reading the cover of the card, Mary opened it, to read the inscription. 

"Isn't it a little late to still have your cards up?" 

"What?" 

Her heart sped up, and she lifted herself off the wall, just for a second, and walked over next to Mary. The next words they read almost simultaneously. 

"Lots of love, Gwen."

Tosh turned around, her sheet slipping a little as she grasped at it, forcing it back up.

"I'm guessing that's Gwen from work, Gwen from the building site yesterday morning," Tosh moved around uncomfortably, looking from one side to the other and still holding onto the crimson sheet for support.

"Gwen from the photo on your fridge." 

"Put that down!" Both Toshs echoed out, both in frustration. 

"All I'm saying is, I don't want to get in the way of anything."

Tosh continued to shift around. 

"There's nothing to get in the way of," she said, finally getting up and dragging her sheets along with her. 

"I see," Tosh heard the words echo out as crimson sheets flew past her vision. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

The words were faded this time, and she could see Mary begin to take on a ghostly appearance. 

"Not really." 

Turning around, there was the figure again. It was closer now, standing almost exactly where Mary was as she inspected the egg cup. She tried walking closer, but the world faded away around her, and she was left in a dingy basement instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (did i leave on a cliffhanger? oops)
> 
> this probably made no sense I'm so sorry
> 
> anyway, as always, feel free to yell at me in the comments or on my tumblr
> 
> loves, xara <3

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! 🥰
> 
> feel free to yell at me in the comments or on my tumblr (@chaoticgayandnerdy)  
> loves, xara


End file.
